Re-Entry Shock:
Why I Felt Out of Place at Home
Reflections from Nicola Fitzpatrick Navigating Life After Cebu
You know that feeling when you come home from an international placement, expecting everything to be the same, but you aren’t? That was me after my first placement overseas, and now after a second year with the Badjao that feeling is even more intense. After spending life-changing time with the Badjao community in Cebu—twice—I thought re-entry would be easy. It truly wasn’t.
The Invisible Culture Shock
Everyone talks about culture shock when you go abroad, with the excitement of going we forget about the reverse culture shock—the weird, confusing, sometimes painful feeling of being a stranger in your own home, with your own friends & family.
After living in a place where community bonds are tight, where life is raw and immediate, and where every day holds lessons in resilience and humility, I came back to a world that felt…plastic, governmentally failing & capitalistic. Like I was stuck between two versions of myself—the volunteer who had been deeply changed and the person everyone expected me to be back home.
The Silence That Screams
The hardest part? The silence. Not just the quiet of my old routines but the lack of deep, meaningful conversations about what I had seen and felt.
Friends asked, “How was it?” but the answers felt shallow. How do I sum up complex experiences of poverty, joy, struggle, and hope in a casual chat? I felt the urge to protect others from the heaviness, but it left me feeling isolated.
I also struggled with simple things—like how to talk about what I had learned without sounding like I was preaching or putting myself on a pedestal. I wanted to share stories that mattered, but worried they would be misunderstood or dismissed.
Being a returned volunteer is not heroic—it’s a complicated identity that can make you feel like you’re living in two worlds that don’t quite sync.
Finding My New Normal
On returning the first time I realized re-entry is a process, not a switch you flip. I sought out spaces where I could be vulnerable and honest — keeping in touch with fellow returned volunteers, supportive colleagues, and communities that understood.
I also began channeling my experience into meaningful action, like shaping volunteer programs, advocating for ethical volunteering, actively working towards a sustainable native Ireland and simply listening more deeply.
Tips
- It’s Okay to Feel Disconnected: You’re not broken or lost; you’re evolving.
- Find Your Tribe: Seek people who get it—returned volunteers, mentors, or even online communities. Keep in touch with SERVE.
- Give Yourself Grace: Re-entry shock takes time to heal, so don’t rush it.
- Use Your Experience: Turn your feelings into fuel for change— start with your own practices, then out into local or global.
- Speak Your Truth: Your story matters, even if it’s messy or complicated.
Final Thoughts
Coming home after volunteering internationally isn’t a return to normal. It’s a rebirth into a more aware, sometimes uncomfortable, but ultimately richer version of yourself. And if you’re feeling out of place, you’re not alone. We’ve been changed by the world—and now, it’s time to change ours. Use your voice! This is always available to you and always remember United we stand, divided we fall, we need to work with each other and there is strength in numbers. Create your tribe and embody what the experience has opened you to. Your heart is open and together we can bring about change!
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